I absolutely love being a mom (can you tell?) My little man has made my world a brighter, cheerier place, and I love him so much I could burst. The one thing I don’t love about being a mom? Other moms. Not my friends, because they are all awesome, but the Mommy Mafia. Is it just me, or are they everywhere?
Case in point – I saw a post the other day in a mommy group that usually has good pointers, about infant car seats and grocery carts. The original post claimed that “babies die every single day in grocery carts.” Immediately I think of those People of Walmart pictures of idiots who pile TV’s on top of their sleeping babies, but I am wrong, wrong, wrong. It’s moms like me who are “ignorant” and “too lazy to DO THE RESEARCH” (Mommy Mafia battle cry) and thought that because the car seat clips to the cart, that’s what you’re supposed to do. But no, we ignorant lazy non researching Moms just hate our babies and want them to die.
Now, another poster nicely explained that grocery carts aren’t balanced correctly to support the car seats and can sometimes get top heavy and tip over, and that doing this repeatedly can damage the clip so that it doesn’t work properly with the base if you would get in an accident. OK, that is reasonable and enough info for me not to do this anymore. And I was ignorant of these facts, because researching grocery carts’ potential to kill my baby wasn’t something that I ever thought about.
But was the tone of the original message really necessary? Am I a lazy mom because I choose to research how to make homemade baby food so I know what is going into his little tummy instead of looking for this kind of remote danger to freak out and call other moms names for not knowing what I know? I don’t think so.
I wish moms would stop treating parenting like it’s the Hunger Games with a single victor covered in the blood of the fallen tributes. Sharing information is great, and I’m glad I saw the second poster’s comments. But I’m so sick of having “Do the research!” thrown around about everything – even down to how to take your baby grocery shopping.
People say that phrase as if there is a definitive answer. If only you read exactly what I read, you would think what I think and do what I do. Never mind that we have completely different frames of reference, or that our babies have totally different personalities and motor skills. It’s only because I am lazy and ignorant that I do things differently than you do. Obviously.
Play nice, mommies. Our babies are watching.