Once upon a time, not so long ago, I could have a complete conversation, in full grown up sentences. Many of these conversations took place with my BFF Anne, who is still not completely forgiven for up and moving most of the way across the country (years ago, but who’s counting?)

But now that I have a 5.5 month old, and she has a newborn, phone calls go like this:

{After two days’ worth of phone tag}

Anne: Did you get my message the other day? Did PJ….[to older son] Alex, I don’t know where it is, ask Dad…sorry, when did PJ….[to husband Mark] well, can you help him look for it please?…howlonguntilhesleptthroughthenight?

PJ: ::whimper whimper::

Me: Sorry, what?…[to husband Paul] It’s Anne. Can you take the baby for a minute?

Anne: Sleeping. All night. When? Plleeease say soon. [To baby Michael] Mommy’s talking, say hi to Aunt Shan!

Michael: ::coo coo burp coo::

Me: Awwww…hi baby!

Paul: Here, I think PJ’s hungry.

PJ (clearly jealous, grabs phone and licks it): Gaaaahh! Gaaaahh!

Anne: I guess five hours is good, right?

Me: Five hours of what? [to PJ] No biting Mommy! Now you have to wait.

Anne: Five hour stretch of sleep.

PJ: Weh Weh Weh Whhaaaaaaaaa

Me: [to PJ] Ok, you can eat more but no biting….Yeah, five hours is good for a month old!

Michael: ::coo coo hiccup coo:: Weh Weh Weh

Anne: Where’s your pacifier, buddy? Yeah, I thought that was good, but I couldn’t remember. Oh, did you see the….

Michael: Wwwwaaaaaahhhhhhh!

PJ: Wwwwaaaaaahhhhhhh!

Paul/Mark: Is he hungry?

Me/Anne: OK, talk to you later. Bye.