PJ’s Diary: Not For Mommies!

If there is one thing I am sick to death of hearing, it’s “No no PJ! That’s not for babies!” It makes me put my mad face on rawwwwr!

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My friend Michael and I had a little chat the other day and we’re real mad that all the good stuff is “not for babies.”

“TV buttons are not for babies!”

“Yucky floor lint is not for babies!”

“Throwing toys in the potty is not for babies!”

“Toasters are not for babies!”

“Riding without a car seat is not for babies!”

Well, we have had enough of this unfair treatment, and we want to declare a few things as Not For Mommies.

Bananas are not for Mommies. All mine!

Cell phones are not for Mommies. They are for kissing Nana, everyone knows that!

Privacy in the potty is not for Mommies. We can’t throw toys in there, you can’t… whatever it is you do in there. I’m not real sure about this one.

Sleeping in is not for Mommies. It’s ok if Daddy does though, we’re generous like that.

Eating dinner is not for Mommies. This plate is not your plate, this plate is my plate. Especially if there is salmon on it. Yum!

Grown up books are not for Mommies. We must insist that you read only the Sandra Boynton collection, over and over, for the rest of your lives.

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Exercising is not for Mommies. What if I need a big hug, or a boo boo kissed? Do that downward facing dog stuff on your own time! (Michael disagrees with me on this one, and he does a pretty mean plank, don’t you think?)

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So there, mean Mommies! I hope you learned a lesson and about telling us all the good stuff is not for babies. I’m just gonna go check out this extension cord now…

Darn it.

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PJ’s Diary: Fall Down BOOM

I’ve got this weird feeling about my legs. They’ve been perfectly good crawling pistons for months now, but all of a sudden I think maybe … they can do other things.

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It all started with the dishwasher. I just love dishwashers, don’t you? They’ve got so many fun things to pull out and throw on the floor! But it was so hard to reach them all and one day I said “PJ, let’s stretch these leg things out and see if we can get up high enough to grab that Mickey Mouse plate over there.” And it worked, oh boy!

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After that, I took over the coffee table – did you know that cars go real fast when you push them? And then…tragedy. I put my foot on a Lego and it hurt so bad I let go of the coffee table and fell down BOOM right on my butt.

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You know how I know falling down goes BOOM? Because my Uncle Caleb taught me all about it. Sometimes I stand up just so I can sit down and say BOOM. It’s so much fun, you should try it sometime!

Sometimes I get tired of falling down BOOM, and I wonder whether my feet can do anything else fun. Mommy and Daddy use theirs to jump over the gate and visit my kitty friends, but I just can’t figure out how they do it.

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I like it when Mommy holds my hands when I stand up, but then she tries to get me to move and I’m all “Whoa whoa whoa, slow down babe, I’ve got a perfectly good set of knees right here!”

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Sheesh. Parents. What are ya gonna do? Me, I’m gonna stick to crawling as long as I can. BOOM.

PJ’s Diary: Babies Against Clean Eating

Mommy says we are “eating clean” this week. I think this is a terrible idea. The best part about eating is getting real dirty!

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I don’t mind all the good, fresh veggies, I even made her give me a yummy scallion to munch on – it went real nice with my peanut butter and banana sandwich!

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And the eggs with tomatoes, fresh basil, and turkey bacon – deeeeeeelicious!

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But how am I supposed to enjoy my food if I have to keep it clean all the time?!

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I think I’m gonna go to Great Grandma’s house for the week. She understands me.

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So how about it Mommy? Pack me up some yummy veggies and fruit, and I will go where they appreciate a good mess and aren’t stingy with the ice cream!

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But …You’re coming with me, right?

Gearing Up!

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Next weekend,  PJ, Paul, myself, my parents, brothers, sister-in-law, aunts, uncles, and cousins are walking and running in the Gary Papa Run in Philadelphia. We are team “Skip H” in memory of my grandfather, who went to heaven in October 2012 after a long battle with prostate cancer.

I recently signed a petition to my senators asking them to support proposed funding for prostate cancer research, and got a response back that Senator Toomey feels that it would be “irresponsible” to vote for funding. Senator Casey didn’t even bother to respond at all. Good to know for their next elections! In the meantime, while Congress votes on such pressing financial issues as forcing the military to retain and maintain Cold War era aircraft that the Pentagon thinks we could manage without, it’s up to the rest of us to try to get some funding for curing this disease that is killing men.

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This disease robbed PJ and his great Grandpa from getting to know each other. It robbed my grandmother and my friend Nancy of their husbands. It robbed my dad, his sisters, and my friend Laura of their dads. It robbed me,  my cousins, and Laura’s little girl Ella of their grandfathers. So,  with all due respect, Sen Toomey, I think that allowing THAT to continue is what’s irresponsible.

So we will walk. And we will raise the money, and prove it can be done.

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My personal challenge for all of you is to turn PJ’s stroller into a race car that would have made my Grandpa say “Well I’ll be damned!” – for every individual donor (of any amount) that supports us, I will add one piece of racing paraphernalia to the stroller and turn him into a rolling story about the great Grandpa he would have loved to play with!

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If you would like to participate, follow this link – and thank you!

My Love/Hate Relationship With Ikea & Party City

I can’t believe this, but PJ’s birthday is just one week away! He is keeping me busy for sure, with crawling all over and now pulling himself up to stand and walking his way around everything he can. Once he figures out that running gets him places faster than crawling, I will be in T-R-O-U-B-L-E!

We went out to get the supplies for his birthday party today. It is, of COURSE, a Mickey Mouse theme. I would love to say that it’s Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and I’m trying my best to make it so, but…well, you’ll see. First, if you don’t run in the toddler set and I lost you earlier, stick with me – it’s not just about a mouse, I promise. It’s about something that bugs me every single time I go to the store for baby supplies.

This is what the Clubhouse gang looks like on TV (and by the way, the link goes to another blogger who asks the tough questions about the show – one of which I can sadly answer and tell him that Pete is a cat. I know.):

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Anyway, my point is that Minnie and Daisy (and Clarabelle when she is in the scene) are part of the group. They’re not some strange, separate species of ::gasp:: GIRL ::pearl clutch:: that exist on a separate planet of pink and purple hearts and flowers. Yes, they like bows and dancing and ribbons, but they’re just as likely to climb a mountain or ride a train or cross the desert as the guys are. PJ’s two favorite characters here are Mickey and Daisy. He claps when they come on the screen, he laughs when they talk, and he pays more attention to stories they are in.

So when I go to Party City to get birthday party supplies, I had this crazy naive thought that there would be a young kids’ section where I could find the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse decorations. Chalk that up to first-time-mom naivete. There are actually TWO Mickey Mouse Clubhouse sections – one for boys, and one for girls. Outside of TV, the gang looks like this:

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IT’S LIKE THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER ANYMORE.

And what’s worse, they don’t even want to know each other anymore. Look, I’m a marketer. I get the idea of splitting characters up to increase your overall ticket, and I get that some people really only do want one or the other because that is what their kid is obsessed with. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But it bothers me that these characters that are good friends, and help each other solve problems in every show, aren’t welcome at each other’s parties.

I did buy a couple of items from the Minnie/Daisy collection for their fans (including my son!) but my original idea to do half and half went out the window when I saw them all side by side. They just don’t work together. And that makes me a little mad, because it’s not just a Party City problem. It’s an (almost) everywhere they sell things for kids problem. Every time I shop, I am glad that I had a boy first, because if I ever have a girl in the future I can feel good that not all of her toys will be from the Pepto Bismol collection.

The only place I currently don’t feel this way is Ikea. Sure, you can get pink toys there – and again, nothing wrong with that. It’s a pretty, happy color and I adore it in moderation. But there are no girls’ aisles and boys’ aisles. There are just TOYS. The pink princess puppet is on the same shelf as the green dragon and brown owl. And the wooden play kitchen and wooden play workbench are part of the same display, both in nice neutral color schemes. 

So I can’t help but ask myself WHY this is such a rarity these days? WHY are girls being relegated to their own little pink and purple planet where they can be anything they want to be, as long as it’s pretty – and did we mention pink? Even Goldiblox, which I love the idea of, is fighting gender stereotypes by teaching girls engineering skills to…wait for it…build pink and purple princess castles. Whomp whomp. It makes me seriously ANGRY to see the same product on a shelf in a green/blue/red/whatever version…and a pink and purple version next to it. I won’t buy either version for my kid, or as a present for anyone else’s kid.

I know it’s only going to get worse as we move along, and that someday there will be the dreaded “But that’s for GIRLS, ewww!” conversation about something. But shame on you, Party City, for making “Boys are from Mars, Girls are from Venus” a part of his first birthday. How about trying a revolutionary idea, and making some things that any kid can enjoy? Take a trip to Ikea and see how it’s done, I dare you.

 

PJ’s Diary: Do You Wanna Build A Snowman? (A Diaper Story)

Do you wanna build a snowman?
With all this powder on my butt?
I’ve got a lot of stinky poos
And smelly toots
‘Cuz teething really sucks!

Do you wanna build a snowman?
I’ve got powder here to share
Even though I’m cute as can be
Don’t get too close to me
If you mind polluted air!

Do you wanna build a snowman?
I’ve got powder by the bag
I think it’s really funny
To make my Mommy
And Daddy gag!

Do you wanna build a snowman?
With all this powder on my butt?
I should really thank my Mommy
‘Cuz she still loves me
And always cleans me up!

Do you wanna build a snowman?

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The composer at work:

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